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In the 1980s, Glenn Close’s character in was storied as having “borderline personality disorder” (BPD).She was seen as the ultimate femme fatale, a slave to her sexual passions and murderous impulses and a danger to men and marriage in contrast to Anne Archer’s loyal, betrayed and terribly dull wife.What began as a murmur of Black women’s character defects, sociologically based theory and statistical data has grown into a steady roar about our supposed lack of desirability.It seems that Black women have bought into this sensationalistic message, paving the way for a small army of (allegedly) well-intentioned Black men peddling relationship advice to Black women to become wildly successful (and wealthy) all for teaching us how to think more like them while acting like us.With Tiger Woods back in the game after his “bad decisions” admission on ESPN, I couldn’t help but recall George (not his real name), who had consulted me about how to deal with his new affair.

People tend to associate personality disorders with certain celebrities and movies.Forgive me for saying this, but I have a hard time stomaching this trend.Just because you were raised in a family of women, or that you’ve slept with so many of us that you could start a national sorority comprised of your sexual conquests, doesn’t make you qualified to tell me how to increase my chances of getting married.George began by telling me that “She was standing off by herself during a conference break, leaning against a wall, sipping coffee.“As I walked by, our eyes met and I felt a sudden jolt — a rush of energy, real connection.

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